Today is the first day of NaNoWriMo, and I am at a lost for words when it comes to how much I have missed writing. Call me a sap, but I have nearly been to tears the last hour while writing. There are so many suppressed and pent-up feelings inside of me--so many things I want to say, and I am finally at the point in my life where I feel healed and oh-so-ready to say what I want to say. For those of you who read this, and who have not had the chance to talk to me in person (or on AIM), I am writing a memoir. Albeit a highly fictionalized memoir because everyone knows the memory of a 5-year-old is faulty, it is nonetheless my life. I am a former trailer park kid, and the stigmata of it has been etched deep into me. I have worked so damn hard to get where I am, and all honestly, living in poverty and always wanting more and the best has driven me to where I am. And I don’t meant the best in the material sense, but the best in the life quality sense.

Often times I tell my husband that although we function at the poverty level, we are not poor. Our souls are too rich and our goals are too high to let circumstance keep us down. We love deeply, and because of that we are rich. Not that I didn’t have love growing up, but it was a kind of love that sprung from hate in a sense (it is late and I am having a hard time forming my thoughts), but it was love out of frustration that I grew up with… a suppressing love, but nonetheless, it is what made me grow and become who I am today.

But, all I really wanted to say is that although this is quite a rambling post, my voice is coming back.... all 1480 words of of it.

I’m very happy to read that you are having so much fun with this.  I know that I’ve been feeling great about the project I chose to do as well.  Although whereas yours is quite moving, mine is just mindless fun.

I hope it ends up moving. I’m hopeful for sure.

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